Wednesday, January 26, 2011
Louie
That familiar smell of earth fills my inner self as it drinks the tears of the sky. I was lost - everything came crushing down. Those damned memories I wish to erase invades my mind, unwelcome. I don't even know myself anymore. The sorrow, the pain, the agony, all of it seems surreal. But the reality hurts the most. It seems that the loneliness I feel doesn't shock me anymore - it became a familiar confidant when all seems so dark. I'm so tired living this life, but what I feared the most is that tiny glint of hope inside me. Does that mean I'm doomed to get hurt again, without having the chance to feel even a small drop of happiness? If I will be God for a day, I'd take my life back. I'm a coward, afraid to face the adversaries of life. But I'm afraid to take my life. If taking my own life will be a form of cowardice and fear, what do you call a person afraid to be afraid? Stupid. Useless. I know I shouldn't make myself so down, but these feelings get stronger each day, with no one to trust, and gets bottled up. It's hard, yes, for all my life I've been alone, with on one to confide, trust, and on one cares. I just want to be happy, how come I came bearing all of this baggages? I don't trust anyone - I can't. They'll betray me again and again, and I'm going nuts with all of this stupid feelings and realities I can't accept. I can't tell them - I just can't. They just don't understand. I wouldn't allow myself to do anything to make myself so useless, because every waking hour the face of the enemy stares back at me at that stupid mirror. All I wan't is happiness, and freedom. Things for sure I wouldn't get.
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Tamang Emo Lang. Haha.
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I did this entry a very long time ago. I just dug this up from my old notebook. It's supposed to be a part of a story, but then, it just got lost with the old pages.
Posted in: Emo,Louie,Reflections
1 comments:
hahahahah
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